Healthy Baby

Jacob had a regular doctor's visit this week. He's a healthy little guy. The doctor's words were something to the order of: "I'm really impressed with how well he's doing."

The low-down is basically this: Jacob is 8 months old. He was 7 weeks early. His adjusted age is only 6 1/2 months old then. The doctor said that he is doing things that 9 month olds usually do.

Can you tell I'm a proud daddy?

He is amazing. A long time ago, Lesley and I were visiting some friends. The mom in the family told us, "You know, you hear people talk about having a kid as 'miraculous', 'life changing', 'fulfilling', 'amazing'. The fact is having a kid is fun." She was dead on.

Oh, and by the way, the doctor said one more ear infection and he's getting tubes. Doc asked which color would we like. He was serious.

I've Been Thinking...

Lesley and I were talking the other day about God's omniscience and human free will. You know, the kind of thing most people talk about on the way to the grocery store.


Anyway, we were discussing how human free will works with God being omniscient, and it occurred to me that God is like a GPS tracker.


When we were on vacation in San Diego, we rented a car and got a GPS computer to show us around San Diego. The GPS guided us through San Diego. "In 1 mile, turn right," it would say. Or, "In .2 miles, stay left." Or, "In 1 mile, turn right and arrive at destination." (This last part was usually pronounced in a very smug voice, as if this little box were very proud of itself fro having guided us correctly.)

Every once in a while, because of traffic or maybe because there was something up ahead that looked interesting, we weren't able or chose not to follow the directions of the GPS. Then the machine would flash, "Revising Route." It would then change the directions it would give us in order to guide us back to where we were supposed to be.


That's a lot like how God's omniscience and human free will work. God knows the way we are supposed to go, and is constantly giving us directions because he sees the whole path we are supposed to take. We, however, are driving the vehicle, and so we have control over whether we follow God's directions. If we can't, or more often, choose not to follow God's lead, he revises our route, and faithfully begins to give us new directions to get us back on track.


God is faithful, and will always be there to guide us, even when we take turns, or refuse to turn, when he tells us to do something else.


GPS: God's Positioning System.


Anyway, here's pictures of the baby:

Sick Again

Little guy is sick again. He's been running a fever and screaming at night. It's not very fun. But he's still really cute.

See:

It's Official

Jacob is crawling. Not just the scooching, lunging, rolling that he's been doing. He got up on all fours and moved his little arms and legs.

Watching him develop is the most amazing thing.

Being a parent is just fun.

Everything Is Good

As Shannon pointed out in the comments, everything is good in our world. Life is pretty routine these days.

There is a great line in the Simpson's episode "A Milhouse Divided". This is the episode in which Milhouse's parents get a divorce. Homer is talking to Milhouse's dad, who is warning Homer not to take his marriage to Marge for granted. Homer responds completely confident in his relationship with Marge, "Marge and I have one thing that can never be broken: a strong marriage built on a solid foundation of routine."

That's pretty much our life right now. We're going to work, coming home, spending our evenings together, visiting friends occasionally, and pretty much following the routine.We're trying hard to keep Jacob on a schedule, but when we think we've got it down (he's going to bed at 8:30 pretty regularly), he goes and decides to stay up and play until 11:00. He's kind of funny that way. We keep working with him, to regularize his schedule. It's actually kind of fun.

Speaking of The Simpson's, I loved the movie. Oh man, I laughed for an hour and a half.

Anyway, that's it from Jamie, Lesley and Jacob-land.

I put a disclaimer about placing comments on the blog over in the side bar. If you want to leave a comment, make sure you see that first.

The Best Vacation Ever

We went on vacation to beautiful San Diego, CA. It was great. We spent a couple of days with Lesley's cousin Matt who is just an all-around great guy.

Then we went to the San Diego Zoo and got to see pandas, lions, bears, lots of birds, camels, pigs (The female pigs were much more exciting than the male pigs. I mean, the male pigs were just a bunch of real boars!) and Lesley's favorites, the giraffe.

The next day, we went to Sea World San Diego, which was really cool. Daddy fed some dolphins and mommy actually got to pet one, too. That was really cool. We saw baluga whales, polar bears, penguins, sharks, and got splashed by Shamu.

We left Matt's place, and went to Coronado Island, where we spent the rest of our vacation. We stayed at the lavish Hotel Del Coronado, which is amazing. It overlooks the Pacific Ocean, and Jacob even got to sit in the ocean for a little bit.

It was a great time. I don't know what else to say. It was just a great time.

Still Sick

We've been giving Jacob his antiobotics for a week now, and he just didn't seem to be getting any better.

Lesley took him back to the doctor today, who said that now he has an ear infection. We had been giving him a pretty low dose of amoxycillin. We've also noticed that he's had some diarrhea and a rash. We kind of expected the diarrhea. Antibiotics can do that. But the rash makes us think that he's probably allergic to the amoxycillin. He would get that from daddy.

I'm allergic to penicillin, and the differing variations thereof. We're going to let the doc know about the rash to see what he thinks.

Anyway, the doc gave him a prescription for azithromycin, "Super-Antibiotic." Hopefully, this will take care of him. The poor little guy is so miserable right now. You can see it in his eyes.

Mommy, Daddy doesn't feel very good.

Big man is sick.

We're trying to teach Jacob the importance of sharing. You can never start that kind of thing too young.

In an effort to show us just how much he's learned, he's decided to give daddy his cold and sinus infection. So now we're both sick, and Lesley is taking good care of us. Poor girl.

Probably had something to do with him sucking on his hands and then sticking his hands into daddy's mouth. Just a theory.

Anyway, our house is now like the Simpon's episode, where the whole town of Springfield orders these juicers from Japan, and the "Osaka Flu" gets sent over. Everyone gets sick except Marge, who gets put in jail because while stressed out, she accidently shoplifts a bottle of bourbon for Grandpa Simpson. Lesley hasn't been caught stealing though, at least not yet.

Anyway, Jacob and I are doing a lot of father and son types of activites, now, like sneezing out thick green mucus, snorting as we try to breathe, and taking our daily antibiotics. It's a real family affair.

Daddy, I don't feel very good.

Little man is sick.

He started day care Friday, June 1. By Tuesday, he was up in the middle of the night screaming his little head off. Lesley took him to the doctor, and it turns that he had gotten a cold that turned into a sinus infection.

He's all boogers, snot, and this goopy green stuff coming out of the corner of his eyes now.

We can see an improvement in him. He's sleeping through the night again now, at least as much as ever did. He'll fall asleep about 8:30, 9:00. Then wake up between 4:30 and 5:00 in the morning. We usually feed him, and he falls back to sleep while we are getting ready for the day.

Everybody keeps saying, "Well, this is good. He's gotta build his immune system."

They weren't the ones up with him while he was screaming for two hours in the middle of the night because his throat was sore. It's not that I don't want him not to build up his immune system. I do want him to do that. But isn't there like a vitamin C supplement we could give him?

Anyway, he's still really cute. Even when he's got snot running out of both nostrils into his mouth.

Everything I need to know in life...

I learned from my 6 month old.

Jacob is six months old today, and to celebrate, I've been thinking about some of the things he has taught me so far in his short, but wisdom-filled life.

1. People want to do things for me when I smile. When I scream, people might move faster, but they don't necessarily move more willingly.

2. All I really need to be happy is some clean britches and a full belly.

3. I can communicate more love with a smile than with a million words.

4. Mommies are, generally speaking, more interesting than daddies.

5. There's nothing like a good burp to make a person feel better.

6. Farts can be cute.

7. Just because I can roll over, doesn't necessarily mean I should.

8. Mommies often walk a tightrope between giving attention to baby and giving attention to daddy.

9. It is possible to produce over 10 gallons of drool in a 24 hour period.

10. There really are only three things that I should ever get upset about: A) When I'm hungry; B) When I'm tired; C) When I should change my pants as quickly as possible.

11. There's no more comfortable place than in the arms of someone who loves you more than life.

12. Adults are often too rational to understand really what is going on.

13. Swinging is fun.

14. I don't have to worry about anything because I know that no matter how tired their arms may get, I will have someone to hold me up.

15. Taking a nap whenever and wherever I feel like is not such a bad idea.

16. The most pressing question I have whenever I experience something new is, "Will it fit in my mouth?"

17. Everything is fascinating.

Jacob's head is growing faster than the rest of him, proportionally speaking. "Nothing to worry about," the doctor says. I never thought it would be something to worry about. To me, it's just a sign that he's got a really big brain, and based on the life lessons he's taught me so far, there can be no denying it. Jacob is one smart cookie.

Pictures of My Musical Muse

Singing a New Song

Having a baby has brought some new talents in me that I didn't know I had. For example, when the little guy is grumpy, I find myself making up songs. Some are songs that are completely original, like "I've Got the Baby Bath Blues":

Well, my name is Jacob.
And I've got the blues.
I said my name is Jacob.
And I've got the blues.
Cuz I hate being naked.
It's the baby bath blues.

Well, now mommy,
She treats me right.
And my daddy,
always by my side.
But when it's bathtime,
Two worlds collide.

I start to screamin'
Pitch quite a fit.
I start to squirmin'
to get out of it.
I hate that bath.
I hate it bad.
Please let me go,
Won't ya, mom and dad.

My name is Jacob.
I've got the blues.
I said my name is Jacob.
I've got the blues.
I hate bein' naked.
Right down to my shoes.
My name is Jacob
And I've got the baby bath blues.

Oh yeah.

Then there are songs I make up the tune of other songs. This one can be sung to the melody of the Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash.

Well, I have a poop a comin'.
It's comin' round the bend.
And I've been a pushin'
out my rear end.
But it just ain't a happenin'.
No, I just can't poop.
I know when it gets here
it's gonna be like soup.

Well, I am just a baby,
my momma tells me, "Son,
I get so worried when
Your poop won't come."
I really am a tryin'.
Trust me mom and dad.
I really am a pushin'.
I want to poop so bad.

Oh man there it comes,
No, I won't stop now.
Boy I filled that diaper, and
I need a new one now.
Change my dirty diaper.
Make me fresh and clean.
You said you wanted poop.
Aren't you proud of me?

These songs probably aren't grammy material, but they sure get him to stop crying. Jacob loves music. Whenever he starts hollering, we start singing and he gets quiet and listens so intently that you think he would sing along.

I wonder if that's going to be a sign of something later.

Anyway, that's all the news. There will be pictures coming soon. I promise.

Time, Time, Time

See what's become of me?

You know. You go to work.

You come home.

You go to school.

You stop by the store.

You change a diaper.

You eat a Reese's Peanut Cup.

You do some homework.

You hold your baby.

You take out the trash.

You find a dime on the ground.

You drink a cup of tea.

You stop by McDonald's.

You gas up your car and wash the windshield while you're there.

You wait in line.

Everywhere.

Your lips get chapped because of the cold.

You sleep.

You get some laundry done.

And scrub your tub.

And get old.

And the tic, tic, toc of the clock doesn't slow or speed up.

Relentless, the unstoppable object.

And it's been two weeks since you've blogged,

or checked your email,

or phoned the people who are closest to you.

The Game is Afoot!

It's become a game really. Like playing chess with a master champion.

You see, it began with a simple scream. We would change his diaper. End of game. We win.

But then he adapted.

Scream. Go to change his diaper. Get peed on. One for him.

We adapted. We started waiting a minute while he finished his business.

He's really smart though.

Scream. Wait a little. Diaper's wet, good. Change him. Then he would poop while his diaper was off. One for him.

We changed our tactics. We would wait for the familiar sounds that let us know there was more in the diaper than the liquid gold. We were winning again.

He truly is really smart though.

He screams. We wait for the sounds that tell us his own special little gift for us has arrived. We go to change him, but he holds on to just enough to make a mess while the diaper was off again.

How do I know he's doing this on purpose as a little game? That he's really that smart?

Because he never does this at Grandma's house.

Don't let the pretty face fool you. There's a mastermind lurking underneath that innocent exterior.

Nothing New, But Good News

I've had a few people lately comment on how there hasn't been any blogging for a bit. That's true. I've been pretty busy with stuff at work. And this is just a catch-up to what's been going on in our lives.

I'm gearing up for my next semester at school. Forging ahead with the academic work I need to complete so that I can eventually be a licensed counselor. Work is going on as usual. I love working with the kids. Teenagers are just cool.

Lesley is dreading her return to work next week. Other than that, she just continues to amaze me with what a good mommy she is.

Jacob is, well, awake more now. We're trying to get his night and day rhythms worked out, but it might be a while yet. As of today, he's still "negative one week old." That's the way we were told to think about him developmentally. He smiles a lot though, probably just as much as he screams. He's a little chatter box, too. Of course, most of his chatter is just grunts and grimaces.

We're doing fine. Everyone is still healthy, which is a real blessing considering how much cold and flu has gone through our families over the holidays.

And that's all the news. When I can, I'll put up some more pictures and maybe some top ten's and maybe even a few pick-up lines.

Lessons Learned

I've had my child in the world now a whole month, and there are some really cool things about being a dad. I know that this list is not exhaustive in any way. I also know that there are great things yet to come, but I thought I would share


THE TOP 10 COOLEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A DAD:

10. Being able to talk about poop and pee and farts in public places without being considered rude. This is a privilege only parents have.

9. Sometimes, when I'm holding Jacob, I look at his little face and can't help but laugh. He makes the funniest little faces. See:

8. A very cool thing has been watching Lesley with him. She used to get freaked out at the thought of poop and vomit. I actually watched him pee on her when she was bathing him. I guess the warm water relaxed him enough to erupt. She reached down with her hand and blocked the natural spring from getting all over the floor. She is amazing.

7. Watching his development, from a grey blob on an ultrasound to a miniature me with Lesley's eyes. Modern medicine is amazing.

6. Not being able to get a darn thing done. This is only my 4th in the countdown, but I've already had to get up and move away from this blog 6 times. And I'm about to take another break to feed him. Now, one could either get really annoyed by this, or one can decide that it is actually pretty cool just to be there for him. I've decided that it is actually pretty cool.


5. 3 words: Homer. Simpson. Slippers. Every dad wants 'em; every dad needs 'em.

4. The goodness of people is a very cool thing. It's something I've always known, but ever since Jacob came along, people have been acting like saints to Lesley and me. People are so good.

3. Getting the very best Christmas present this year than I have ever gotten in my life:

2. Staying up all night with a cranky baby. You know what: people might not think this is so cool, but the alternative is that Jacob is not here. It is very cool that he is here, even if he is cranky all night. I'd rather have him cranky than not have him at all.

1. The number one coolest thing about being a dad after just one month of experience: The profound sense of gratitude that swells up inside of me every time I look at him and Lesley. I have so much to be thankful for. I don't deserve anything. I have not earned the love that God has shown me. I am unworthy of the trust that he has placed in me, asking me to steward this little family. But here I am, challenged to live out a deeper integrity than I have ever lived before, and grateful for every second of my life, every friend, every kind word and generous act, and grateful for the life that I have been given. I wake up every morning grateful for the new grace that awaits me. I wake up every morning grateful.

So, there they are, the 10 coolest things about being a dad so far. One of the coolest things that should be on this list probably is the great gift of friendship that so many have offered. Thank you, my friends.

Thank you.

I'm Holding Him Now

As I type this sitting in our living room in the middle of the night because of a burst of activity in his diaper, I'm holding him close to me.

He's home.

It's 1:35 in the morning. I changed his diaper, but he only ate a little while ago, so I haven't fed him anything. I'm awake. He's floating somewhere between conscious and bliss (which consists of a pacifier, tightly swaddled blanket, and a clean diaper). I'm awake.

He's home.

He and I had a nap earlier today after getting home from the hospital. Lesley thougt it would be cute to get a picture of that. I have never been so tired, or so happy in my life.

He's home.

He looks so tiny in his bed. But he's in HIS bed.

He's home.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I don't know what else to say.

My son is home.

HE'S COMING HOME!!!

Maybe.

All of the nurses told us that a little guy like Jacob could be struggling and struggling and struggling, and then all of a sudden just decide, "OK, I'll eat now."

That's what Jacob did. My last update was written in near despair. He was having such a hard time catching his breath. We left that Monday night with heavy hearts. We went back on Tuesday and the little booger had been taken off his oxygen completely, was eating more, and more quickly than he had ever eaten, and was still just as cute as ever.

I can't help but think that his primary nurse, Erin, had something to do with it. She's the one I mentioned in my blog from Sunday, when I said leaving him there was more like leaving him in the care of a dear friend than the hands of a bunch of strangers. I'm going to start calling her "The Baby Whisperer."

He just decided he wanted to come home after all.

So here's the deal, if he does really well overnight tonight, (Thursday, 12/21), then tomorrow night we spend the night in the hospital with him in a special "Care by Parent" room, and we bring home Saturday morning.

Lesley's had some fun with him. He went off like Old Faithful while she was changing his diaper. We didn't get any pictures, though. Thankfully, he's as regular as Old Faithful is, too. But I don't think we'll have the camera ready.

He's so funny, and we can't wait until everyone gets to meet him. There are a few things we need to say up front, though. The nurses have told us that we are bringing him home in the middle of cold and flu season. While a cold or flu can be dangerous to a baby born at term, it can be deadly to a premie. So if you're sick, or if you've been sick, please be patient. He's not going anywhere for at least 18 years, so everyone will be able to meet him.

Also, we've been told that premies shouldn't be overstimulated. They're just not ready for a lot of googling and playing "Pass the Baby." We were told that too much stimulation can actually wear them down so much that they forget to breathe. So for the first couple of months we're going to keep his visitors per day down to a minimum, and of course, family always have first crack at him.

We've learned some interesting things about premies. Jacob was nearly 2 months early. That means that his development will actually seem like he is doing everything 2 months later than it feels like he should be. As far as he is concerned, from his birthday, he still had 2 months to do nothing but sleep and make mommy nauseous. He will crawl, get teeth, pretty much everything, later than it feels like he should, because his developmental age is 2 months younger than his actual age. I thought that was really interesting, but it makes sense.

Anyway, YOUR, OUR prayers have worked. We may have that special Christmas Present under the tree Christmas morning.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

He's not home yet. So keep praying. And even after he is home, you could say a few, too.

Thank you all.

Quick Update

Jacob is still on his oxygen support. The oxygen content in his blood bounces, especially after he's been active, had a lot of visitors, or has just eaten. By being active we mean after he has screamed bloody murder while having his diaper changed. He lay there so quiet and passive for so long, that I'm actually happy when I hear him scream now. That sounds really cruel, and it probably kind of is. But we talk him through this most traumatic event, and he settles down pretty quickly.

He's receiving oral feedings every other time now. The other feedings he receives through the tube that runs in his nose down to his stomach. They have increased the amount he's getting now to 40 cc's, or 1 and 1/3 ounces. That's good news.

Other than that, there's really no news. We're beginning to come to terms with the fact that he may not be home with us on Christmas. We keep praying though, and we know you will, too. There's still a week left.

We just miss our little boy. We want him home.

Sunday Sermon

I've been thinking a lot about a question Lesley and I get asked pretty frequently, "Why was Jacob born so early?"

The doctors and nurses have repeated the same thing to us. It comes down to we don't know. In most cases, one nurse even gave us the number of 90%, no reason is found for premature births.

I know the reason: Original Sin.

That may sound harsh at first, but let's review for a second what Original Sin is. Original sin is not sin by personal fault. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that Original Sin is "sin" only by analogy. Original Sin is that state of being into which we are born that is a fundamental lack of unity, unity with God, with our neighbor and our world, and with ourselves. This lack of unity causes suffering. Original Sin is the source of all suffering. Every bad thing that has ever happened finds its source in Original Sin.

We see the result of Original Sin in the physical world through such things as sickness, when the body is in disunity with itself. Some foreign element, such as a virus, causes the harmony naturally found within the body to become unbalanced. Or perhaps the body itself, such as in the case of cancer, is fighting against itself. These are no one's fault. It just happens. If humanity as a whole did not suffer Original Sin, there would be no colds, there would be no cancer.

In the birth of my son, we see the result of Original Sin in the fact that he was born premature. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't Lesley's fault. The doctors and nurses continue to say, "It's just something that happens sometimes, and we may never know why."

So this leads us to the next question, "Why would God allow these things to happen? Doesn't he have the power to stop them?"

Original Sin is the result of human choice. Humanity as a whole decided to separate ourselves from God. Which of us has not personally sinned? Except for Jesus, no one has deserved by his or her own merit to be free from the consequence of sin. Only Jesus has deserved this, which is why the ultimate consequences of Original Sin, suffering and death, could not bind him. He broke through suffering and death by the choices he made throughout his life on earth to obey completely the will of his Father. It was not only by his suffering and death that we were saved, but by his entire life as well. Just as all humanity chooses to be against God in the sin of one man, Adam, so all humanity has chosen to be with God in the obedience of one man, Christ.

Original Sin is the consequence of human choice, then. When God created us with free will, he bound his own power. He chose not to use his power to trump our free will. If God were to remove the consequences of our choice, in effect, he would remove the choice itself. What is a choice without consequences? It's not a choice at all.

So bad things happen as a result of that original human choice in Original Sin, and God permits these consequences to play out because he bound himself not to violate our freedom. God did not abandon us, though. Here is the real meaning of all of this.

God works in mysterious ways, so that the consequences of Original Sin do not have to devastate us as much as they could.

Years ago, God arranged that I would develop a friendship with a family who has all-wheel drive vehicles so that Lesley and I could get to the hospital after the worst snow storm in 10 years. God gave us friends that would suffer great personal risk to help us.

The worst snow storm in 10 years occurred the day before my son was born. I was scheduled to work from 4 to midnight that Friday evening. Am I saying God sent the snow storm? No. But it's interesting to me how every street and every driveway had been plowed clean that Friday morning, every street and every driveway except our street and our driveway. Why did those who were responsible for cleaning our subdivision not clean ours? I couldn't get Lesley's 4-wheel-drive SUV out of the driveway to go to work, because whoever was responsible for clearing our street and driveway didn't do it. Who knows what might have happened if I had gone to work that day?

God has surrounded us with friends years ago who can, despite our sin, still love us and be incredibly generous to us, supporting us through prayer and gifts for Jacob, opening their homes to us in Columbia, preparing meals for us so that we can eat when we are home without needing to put much effort into preparing our meals. We are not alone as we suffer through the hospitalization of our son because of the friends God has placed in our lives long ago.

God placed a family in my life, one of whom works as a nurse at the NICU at Columbia Regional, so that leaving Jacob there doesn't feel like we are leaving him in the hands of strangers, but rather in the care of a dear friend.

God allowed Lesley and I to be born into families who are able to love us despite our sin, to forgive us and welcome us as members of each other's families. He did that years ago, before we were even conscious of his love.

God has been working throughout our lives to make sure that Lesley and I are capable of handling this situation, surrounding us with family and friends who love us so that we do not have to be alone in this struggle.

God, because of his choice to bind his own power, could not stop the premature birth of our son. God can, because of his all knowing and all powerful love, ease the suffering by working for us, even years ago, in ways that we could not comprehend.

This is how God works, "He has made everything beautiful in its time."