Stumping Saturdays

I've decided on Saturdays, I'm going to stump for some particular issue. It might be funny; it might not. But this is my blog, so I'll do what I want. Expect an unpaid advertisement of some sort every Saturday.

That being said, I think I'm freakin' weird.

One of my favorite things to do is to read Miss Manners. I love it. She's so flippin' funny. And I learn all kinds of things.

For example, did you know that when somebody belches, even if it is just a little burp, one is supposed to say, "Excuse me." If one farts, however, even if it is something that the U.N. would consider levying sanctions against as a weapon of mass destruction, courtesy demands that everyone at ground zero pretend it did not happen.

At any rate, responding to anyone who says, "Excuse me," with, "You're excused," is considered rude. It is imperial, and assumes that you have the power not to excuse the person in question if you wish. In other words, by saying, "You're excused," you are assuming power over the person that you do not have.

The thing I enjoy most about Miss Manners is her way of killing people with kindness. For example, let's say that someone is a one-upper. No matter how many sets of twins in your family you may have, this person has that many and 3 sets of triplets. When she begins to one-up you, you can "up hers" by being extremely, kindly interested in her triplets names and birthdates, with sincere interest in to whom they belong, asking for addresses because you want to contact the families to see if there is anything you can do to help because having that many children must be extremely difficult. Kill 'em with kindness.

How about that person that always has a trite, slightly condescending remark to make upon hearing your profession? You simply stare at them when they make their remarks for only a couple of seconds. Don't smile. Don't respond. Then ask them what they do for a living, and make no comment at all about their profession.

I love it. You just stare at them! That's awesome. And it's polite.

Sneezing into a handkerchief: that's ok only if you are going to sneeze one time. If you feel a fit of multiple sneezes ready to attack, however, a tissue is what courtesy demands, for the simple reason that you don't have to put a soaked handkerchief back into your pocket. Ewwww!

The word courtesy, which is often related to "politeness" comes from the same root word as "court," and actually descends from the "courtesans" who attended the king and queen in the court. So, to be courteous is to be courtly. To be courteous is to demonstrate one's own dignity, and to respect the dignity of others. To be courteous puts us in the presence of kings and queens, and makes us noble.

So I think everyone should read Miss Manners on a regular basis. It might make us just a little more courtly to one another.