Flummadiddle For Your Friday

Famous last words:

“Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.” Oscar Wilde, d. November 30, 1900
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An old superstition: If you want to keep an unpleasant guest from returning, sweep out the room in which the guest stayed immediately after they leave.

I’ve personally found that following them with the broom, sweeping wherever they happen to walk while they're still there is much more effective.
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Did you know that Attila the Hun died of a nosebleed on his wedding night?
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Speaking of which, with the world series getting underway (Go Cards!!!), there has only been one baseball player ever killed in the course of a game. In 1920, Raymond Johnson Chapman who played for the Cleveland Indians was hit in the head by a wild pitch. He was immediately taken to a hospital where he died one day later.
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Did you hear about the invisible man who married the invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
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Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty in Golf But Aren’t

10. Nuts, my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the heck out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his driver.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
1. Hold up…I need to wash my balls first.
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And finally, here’s my tip for the day:

If every morning when you wake up, the first thing you do is eat one live toad, then nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

I promise.