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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

10 Decisions That Have Made Me a Happier Person (More or Less)

10. I've decided to buy a lawn mower.

9. I've decided to be one of those die hard St. Louis Cardinals Fans that paints his face and says, "Well, we're in a rebuilding season," whenever they suck.

8. I've decided to carry an air pump in the back of whatever vehicle in which I happen to be. I'm sure Lesley and friends with whom I ride will be annoyed, but I figure an air pump is like a gun: It's better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it.

7. I've decided to keep a "to do" list. It will be a piece of paper folded into 4 quadrants. Quadrant 1 are things that are important and emergent. Quadrant 2 are things that are important, but not emergent. Quadrant 3 are things that are not important, but emergent. Quadrant 4 is a list of names of people out of whom I would like to beat the living crap.

6. I've decided that under no circumstances will I ever again end a sentence with a preposition.

5. I've decided to get one of those support yard signs that says, "SUPPORT YARD SIGNS!" The exclamation point is important.

4. I've decided that exclamation points are important. That one just came to me.

3. I've decided to be a pessimist. That way I will spend my days in a pleasant state of surprise that things aren't nearly as bad as I thought they would be.

2. All of those emails I get in which people tell me about what offensive thing this person has done and how this group or company is about to screw me: I used to reply only to the sender with the appropriate http://www.snopes.com/ article debunking the particular myth or falsehood the email perpetuates. I've decided to start hitting "reply all." This serves 2 purposes: 1) It lets everyone else who received the email know it's a bunch of crap, and 2) It embarrasses the sender (hopefully enough to stop including me on those stupid emails).

1. Apparently there a lot of people who don't know when I'm joking with them and when I'm being serious. I've decided to stop telling them. This gives me a sadistic kind of pleasure.
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2 comments:

  1. Kathleen Basi5:37 AM

    :) Nice. Let me know if #2 works for you. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kim Lenger9:03 AM

    I hope that I am not in quadrant #4! did you see I put an exclamation point on there because that is important to me!! (a double one)

    ReplyDelete

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