This Joyful Season: Part 1

I can't remember what prayer it is during the season of Lent, but one of the prayers at some point (might have been out of a daily mass collect) refers to "this joyful season of Lent." I remember hearing that "for the first time." I put that in quotes becaus the fact is, I'd probably heard it dozens of times throughout my life, but this was the first time I HEARD it.

It struck me as so weird.

I mean, I had always thought of Lent as a season of repentence, sorrow for our sins, a time when we should be experience discomfort in our practices of penance, fasting, extra prayer, and sacrificial almsgiving. I had never thought of Lent as a season of joy. But it makes sense, really.

As St. Augustine so eloquently put it, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in thee, oh Lord." God is our one true source of happiness, peace, joy. We cannot experience these things apart from Him. So it makes sense that the season of Lent should be a season of joy. What are these practices of fasting, prayer, and almsgiving, if not practices that are meant to rid ourselves of everything that separates us from the Lord?

I know that I have too often thought of these things as punishments. I deserve to be punished for the sins I have committed, and so I fast, spend extra time in prayer, and sacrificially give alms as a way "to make up for the sins I've committed."

The fundamental truth is this: we cannot make up for the sins we've committed. Sin separates us from God, from each other, and from creation. We do not have the power within ourselves to bridge that separation, to heal that wound. No matter how severe our fast, no matter how much time we spend in prayer or how calloused our knees become, no matter how much we give to another, we cannot make up for our own sins.

The fundamental truth is also this: "while we were still sinners Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). We do not have to make up for our sins because Jesus did. Jesus bridged that gap; Jesus healed our wounds. So the practices of Lent are not acts for me to perform so that I somehow make myself righteous through my own works. The practices of Lent are acts that rid me of those things that keep Jesus from acting in my life. When I rid myself of those things so that I can be more open to Jesus, I experience true joy.

The practices of Lent are not to rid my life of all the things that make me happy. The practices of Lent are to rid my life of things that keep me from being truly happy in Jesus.

Through Lent, I'm going to be posting some practical applications for fasting, prayer, and almsgiving. How can these practices improve our lives as followers of Jesus? How can these practices fill us with joy during this season of Lent? Before Lent begins this coming Wednesday, I want to focus on how prayer, fasting and alsmgiving can help us heal one of the primary wounds that causes us pain: forgiveness of others and letting go of resentments.

Forgiveness of one another is a foundation to the bridge that Jesus built over the gap that separates us from our God, and thus from our own happiness. It is so important, that it made its way into the prayer the Lord taught us, "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors" (Matthew 6:12). It is so important, as a matter of fact, that it is the only line in this prayer our Lord taught us that he thought bore commentary: "If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions" (Matthew 6:14, 15).

There is an ancient Buddhist saying that I love: "Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal in order to throw it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned." Who in your life do you need to forgive? The anger and resentment that we hold makes us miserable, but ultimately has little if any effect on the person against whom you hold it.

So how does fasting come into play here? There is a story I like that comes out of the Native American traditions. A grandfather explained to his grandson that inside each of us are two wolves. One wolf carries happiness, peace, serenity, tranquility, joy, and love with him. The other wolf carries hatred, anger, bitterness, resentment, and sorrow. These two wolves, explains the grandfather, are constantly at war with each other, fighting to overcome us. The grandson asks his grandfather, "Which one wins?" The grandfather responds, "The one that you feed." Perhaps fasting this Lent doesn't mean giving up food or drink or TV or radio or music. Perhaps fasting means giving up gossip, slander, or maybe it means watching and giving up your own thoughts of anger and resentment. Perhaps, if you hold anger and bitterness toward someone, fasting means that you stop feeding that anger and bitterness with the things that keep it alive. This may mean giving up a person entirely. If everytime you come into even virtual contact with someone, you feel anger and resentment toward that person, maybe it is better for you to stay away from that person all-together. Fasting from those things that feed our anger and resentment will help us forgive over time.

Praying comes into play to move us toward forgiveness. The 12 Step recovery community has an interesting approach to this. Knowing that resentment and anger can lead to relapse, the recovery community also knows that forgiveness is important to maintain recovery. A person in recovery is encouraged to pray for those whom he or she needs to forgive. What if, though, you don't want to forgive the person? This question comes up in the 12 Step recovery literature. The answer is simple: don't pray that you will forgive the person, but pray that your Higher Power will help you develop the willingness to forgive the person. Perhaps if there is a resentment that you or I hold and nurture, and we are not willing to give it up, then we should pray for the willingness to let go of the wrong that person has done us.

Connecting this to our liturgical prayer, we should make a special effort to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation during Lent. Perhaps this year, in confession, we should confess any resentments which we have held against people. Acknowledge the difficulty we have had forgiving others, and ask for forgiveness for that in this sacred moment of confession. How often do we ask forgiveness for our own inability to forgive others? Yet, Jesus thought it so important to forgive others that he included it in the prayer he taught us and commented on it afterward.

Almsgiving plays a role in forgiveness, too. Perhaps this year, instead of increasing our donations to Church or to some charitable cause, almsgiving means giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Jesus spoke directly to this, "“You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna. Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:21-24).

Is conversion possible? Is it possible for a person to recognize that he or she has done wrong, agregious wrong in the past, and change? I hope so. Maybe this year, our almsgiving means giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this year, almsgiving means being generous enough to give someone the opportunity to show that he or she is different now than he or she used to be. This doesn't mean we have to be buddy-buddy with someone that has hurt us. This doesn't mean we ever have to be friends with someone who has broken our trust. Forgiveness ultimately is not about the other person at all, even if the other person hasn't changed. Forgiveness doesn't mean that I allow someone who has hurt me in the past to hurt me again. Forgiveness means that, while I may never speak to a person who has hurt me again, I don't have to carry around the anger or resentment over the hurt that person caused me. Forgiveness doesn't mean I set the other person free from the wrong he or she has done. It means I am free from the wrong that person has done. Can you be that generous to yourself? Can you give yourself the alms of letting go of hurts that others have caused you?

Perhaps our almsgiving will take the form of live and let live. Let us all seriously ask ourselves this question: Can I be generous enough to let those who have wronged me get on with their lives without my brooding over the wrong that they have committed against me? Can I give that alms this Lent to those that have hurt me, and more importantly, to myself?

Using prayer, fasting and almsgiving to bring us to forgiveness of those who have wronged us makes us free of the chains that bind us. Using these Lenten practices this way can free us from the anger and resentment that keeps us from experiencing the true joy that Jesus has in store for us.

This Lent, let us use prayer, fasting and almsgiving to free us toward JOY in union with the Lord.