10 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman

I've learned so much from Lesley since we started sharing our lives together.

For example, I've definitely learned that there are certain things I should never say again.


For any budding romantics, please take this advice:


10) "You're not fat, you're pregnant." You see, while this seems like you're trying to affirm her, all it really does is cause some really awkward questions about how you've noticed her figure change.


9) "What difference does it make? Do you like the jeans?" She asked the ever fatal question, "Do these make my butt look big?" This was my response...once.

8) Any reference whatsoever to a woman passing gas. For the record, Lesley never passes gas.

7) "Well, you're the one growing thorns on your legs." Lesley wanted to cuddle right up until I said this.

6) I've learned that after you make a stupid comment like the one in number 7, you should never, ever, ever back it up with something like, "Oh, I see you've pulled the weeds," after she's shaved.

5)I've learned, in no uncertain terms, that men do not have the responsibility of making suggestions about breast feeding.

4) It's not that I shouldn't say anything about decorating any room in the house, but that the only thing I need to say is, "Yes, dear." Any more than that is received with one of those gracious smiles and nods of the head.

3) "But I like that shirt. I've had it for like 18 years." It's not that this is necessarily wrong to say, just useless.

2) "Will you marry me?" while she's coming out of the bathroom. Trust me, just don't.

And the number one thing you should never, ever say to a woman (especially your wife)...

1) "No." Need I explain?