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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Observations While Travelling

I just returned from travelling to Oklahoma City. It was OK.

Anyway, I've been travelling for work a lot lately, and I've made few observations.

1. People say things like airports are great places just to people watch. Really? Um, creepy. How would you feel if you knew there was someone out there watching you? Uh-huh. That's what I thought. Besides that, it's actually impossible to "people" watch. Scientific research has proven that the human brain can actually only concentrate on 1 thing at a time. It is impossible for you or anyone, no matter how intelligent, to focus on two or more things at once. So, ladies, next time you want to brag about being multi-taskers, you actually aren't multi-tasking, you are simply doing a whole bunch of individual things in very quick succession. This means the real difference between men and women is that men actually finish what they're doing before moving on to the next thing. That was a side bar. But given this information, that we can only concentrate on one thing at a time, the most one can do at an airport is person watch, which I've found creeps people out much more. I mean, people don't like it when I follow them around the airport watching them.

2.Look at this picture:

The blackish thing hanging off the side of the conveyor belt unloading luggage from the plane...that's a sock. Yep, the guy pulled it off of a piece of luggage and just threw it to the side. Now you know.

3. All airports are basically the same. I could teleport you from the airport in Oklahoma City to Dallas, Memphis, St. Louis or Kansas City, and you wouldn't be able to tell which one. I don't know what people mean when they say, "That's a really good airport."

4. Why do airports have smoking lounges? I mean, you're not supposed to take anything flammable through the security, including lighters and matches. That means, even if you get your cigarettes through security, you shouldn't have any way to light them. Which leads to my next point:

5. Why do airports sell liquor and other flammable things after you've gone through security. Everything I need to make a molotov cocktail I can purchase or otherwise acquire after I've passed through security. Does anybody else think that airport security is a joke? Which leads to my next point:

6. Maybe TSA should spend less time looking for weapons, and more time looking for terrorists. A person of nefarious intentions could get everything they need to hi-jack a plain once he/she has passed through security, so maybe we should be looking for those with nefarious intentions, and stop bothering the rest of us. Profile the jerks.

7. Pilots of every airline do not "land" planes anymore. They aim them at the runway the way a kid aims a flat rock at a pond to see how many times he can get it to skip.

8. There is no good place to sleep in an airport. Just saying.

So that's it. Those are some of my observations now that I'm travelling more. I think the next time I'm asked to travel less than 500 miles, I'll ride my motorcycle.